My Story...

I have been told by several that I need to share my story, so I am going to attempt to do that here.  It may take several posts, but that is ok...

Life has been difficult and not what I would have chosen over the past year, however, God has been with me every single step of the way, He has literally carried me in the palm of His hand, He has sustained me, and He is carrying me through the fire, He has not left me alone for even one step of this journey... 

For about the last 2 years I have been having health problems associated with endometriosis.  At first it was manageable and only affected me for about a week out of the month, but as I look back over the last couple of years, I can see now how it gradually progressed and began to literally zap the life out of me.  It progressed to the point of causing me such severe pain 3 out of 4 weeks of the month that all I could do was attempt to survive.  The pain brought me to tears almost daily for the past 4 months... I felt useless as a wife, mother, and friend.  It was no way to live...


So, through a series of God ordained events, my doctor discovered that my endometriosis had gotten significantly worse and sent me to a specialist for a consultation regarding surgery.  I ended up having an abdominal hysterectomy on September the 9th.  There were complications, the endometriosis had grown into part of my colon and 6 inches of it had to be removed.  This lengthened my hospital stay to 8 days and complicated my recovery... but I am on the road to recovery, and every bit of pain I was experiencing almost daily from the endometriosis is totally gone!!  Praise the Lord!

What I really want to share is how God has carried me... many nights as I lay awake in pain I would just cry out to God, calling on the name of Jesus; often that was all I could pray, the name of Jesus, as the pain was beyond excruciating.  One night as I lay there in pain, calling on Jesus, my Lord gave me a vision.  It was of me, lying in the palm of His hand, and He assured me that I was in the palm of His hand and that is where I would stay.  I could not sit in His palm, all I could do was lay there, but He was holding me and He was not going to let me go.

Oftentimes I felt so very alone, like no one cared that I was hurting so.  Many people knew what I was going through, but very few reached out to show care or concern... but my Lord reminded me that I was not really alone, that He would never leave me or forsake me.

God has provided for me... He has and is providing healing for my body; He is in the process of reviving me, spiritually, physically, and mentally;   He provided me with a Christian doctor who prayed over me the day of my surgery - what a blessing that was; He provided wonderful, caring nurses to care for me; He has provided friends to be the hands and feet of  Jesus to us during my recovery; and He has provided a wonderful family who has stepped up to take care of me and my responsibilities until I am well.


So today I want to encourage you, if you are going through a difficult time, know that you are in the palm of God's hand, stay there and rest in Him.  He will take care of you, He will never leave you or forsake you; and no matter how alone you feel, if you are a child of God, you are never alone...

Life goes on...

Well, even though my summer seems like it was stolen from me and I did not really get to enjoy it, life goes on!  Here we are starting another year of homeschooling!  The boys are very excited to be 1st graders and I am excited to be a 1st grade teacher! 

We continue to use Sonlight curriculum which I absolutely love!  Our first week (which was last week) went so smoothly as I was familiar with the curriculum and how to use it... that was a huge plus after not feeling well all summer.  I do not think I would have been able to muster up the mental and physical energy to figure out a new curriculum, so I am thankful the Lord led me to continue with Sonlight!  We also love using Fast Math which a friend gave me to put on our computer.  It makes math so much fun for the boys and really helps them learn their math facts so that harder math to come will not be so hard! 

The boys are playing Upward Soccer and are so very excited... we just started practice and their 1st game is not until the Saturday after Labor Day, what a fun day that will be!  They love soccer so much that they wear their gear around the house and are often up at 7 am dressed to play soccer and practicing in the back yard!

We will also be starting Community Bible Study in a few weeks.  What a blessing it will be to gather with other moms, many who also homeschool, to study the book of Daniel and 1 & 2 Thessalonians and 1 & 2 Peter.  The boys will have their own class and Bible study that is appropriate for their age level. 

The boys have also started piano lessons and are doing wonderfully!  It is such a joy to see them learn new things and enjoy them.  They are also participating in Children's Choir at church and will get to be in the "big kids" musical at Christmas this year! 

So we are busy, and life goes on... and I am so thankful to my Lord for giving me the strength I need day to day.  Not a day has gone by that the Lord has not provided for me and my family the things we need, materially and otherwise.  His grace truly is sufficient and His presence in my life is what sustains me and carries me through...  are you allowing Him to carry you, or are you trying to carry your load all by yourself?

Lessons from a journey in the deep valley...

Life is a journey... sometimes an enjoyable, joy-filled one...

and sometimes one which takes you into what seems like the lowest valley you have ever experienced...

That is where I have been since the beginning of June, in a deep, dark valley.  As I mentioned a couple of posts back, I have been dealing with some health issues and significant physical pain, unlike I have ever experienced before.  It has been HARD and often times UNBEARABLE... but Jesus has carried me through.  He is still carrying me through... I am in the palm of His hand, and there is no other place I would rather be.  I seem to be making a bit of progress, but the extent of that progress has yet to be determined, it is a wait and see what happens next kind of thing... there may be some big decisions to have to make in the next few weeks, so prayers are appreciated for my overall condition and for any decisions we have to make regarding my health...


But in this deep, dark valley I have learned a few things...

I have learned that I truly am loved by my family... My husband has so willingly and without complaint taken over things that I just have not been physically able to do at times.  He has remembered how to cook after almost 10 years of not having to!  He takes the boys for all day outings so I can have a mental break from it all, he gets up with me in the middle of the night when my pain prevents me from sleeping, he goes to doctor's appointments with me even though it means he will have to work late and get home late, he holds me when all I can do is cry, and he prays with and for me...  He is a HUGE blessing in my life and I am so glad he is in this marriage with me for the long haul... for "better" and for  "worse", for this summer has definitely been one of those for the "worse" times.

I have learned that my children love me dearly and have such sweet, sensitive and caring hearts.  How precious when David holds my hand in the van all the way to the doctor because I am crying in pain... how precious when Paul lays down with me and rubs my back to try to make me feel better.  What a blessing that they do not get upset when I do not feel like taking them to do fun things... they just say, "Ok, maybe you will feel better tomorrow Mommy."   It breaks my heart that they often ask me, "Mommy, are you hurting today?  Is your pain better?"  I hate that this has to be a part of their life and that they have to see me hurting and in tears over my pain at times, but what a blessing that they have learned to be sensitive and caring to others who are sick and hurting.

I have also learned that you never truly know how someone is feeling inside, how much they can be hurting physically and/or emotionally.  Yes, you can see a bit in their eyes, but you can never really see into someone else's heart and know how much she is suffering... and I have learned that those who are suffering just want to know that someone cares, that someone is willing to listen, that they are not all alone.  For I have often felt so very alone, even in the midst of a room full of people who supposedly care for you, many who know what you are going through.  When you are longing for a hug and words of concern and hope and none come your way it is a very lonely place... Yet time and time again I have been reminded that God knows my heart, He is concerned with me and with what is going on in my life.  I know and am so thankful that my Lord is with me and that He will never forsake me...

So when I do finally get out of this valley, and even now while I am still in it, I am asking God to open my eyes to those around me who are hurting, who need words of encouragement, who need a phone call rather than an email, who need some actual physical help... and I am asking Him to help me to graciously and selflessly respond to those He opens my eyes to in a way that would magnify Him and bring Him honor and glory.

Precious Encouragement from my Lord

I stumbled across this today... but not really, God's divine hand led me to it. How encouraging it was to me as I am in the midst of one of the top 4 hardest things in my life... may it bring encouragement to someone else...

Thankful Thursday

Trust in him at all times, O people;

Pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62:8

I have not blogged much at all lately... just have not had the time or the motivation to do so...


We have finished our 1st year of homeschooling and are now in the throes of a hot, humid, southern summer...

I had many plans for this summer, much I wanted to get done that I had to put on the back burner while we were homeschooling.  I have a list of books I want to read, a list of projects around the house that I desire to get done, a Bible study on covenant that I desire to delve into, a portion of scripture that I want to commit to memory (Romans 12), some planning I want to do ahead of time for our school year coming up, I wanted to plan lots of times of fellowship with friends, and I wanted to get some rest and have some lazy days... 

However, my summer days so far have not been exactly what I had in mind...  I feel as if my whole 1st month of summer has been stolen from me...

Many of my days have been filled with severe pain, pain that has kept me from doing much of what I wanted to do.  Pain that has clouded my mind and my thinking and that has caused me to go from thriving to feeling like I am just surviving... and that is NO fun!  So very few things on my to do list have been checked off...

However, my Lord reminded me that He is a Redeemer, He is My Redeemer!  And He can and will redeem everything... so I am praying that He would redeem my health, that He would restore me to wellness and wholeness.  And He reminded me this morning, that in the midst of my pain I am still to be thankful... not that I have been unthankful, but I have not been as quick to give thanks for the many things in my life that I owe Him thanks for.  Even in the midst of my pain and my days of feeling as if I am just in survival mode, I still have MUCH to give thanks for...

I read this this morning in  a short devotional by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and the Lord spoke to me and encouraged me through it...

There's nothing wrong with being totally honest with God, coming before Him with our hurts and intercessions, imploring Him to help and heal.  


But prayer is more than asking.  It is a vehicle of worship and gratitude.  Think about the overall makeup of your prayers.  Are they out of balance in favor of asking and seeking?  Are they top-heavy with complaints about your current circumstances?  Or do your prayers include expressions of gratitude?


These are important questions to ask of ourselves, not to discourage honesty or deny reality, but to help train our hearts to see all that concerns us within the context of God's goodness and blessing.  We must not forget his benefits while dealing with our problems.  Even before His answer is in sight, thank Him - for being there, for listening, for working all things according to His will.


As surely as our "supplications" and "intercessions" are specific, heartfelt, and time-consuming, so should our "thanksgivings" be.  Pave the way with gratitude, and see if prayer "without ceasing" doesn't become your experience instead of your exception.

So in light of that, today I am thankful for:

• My husband, who is so patient and understanding with me when I do not feel well, even when he does not feel well himself...
• For my children, who pray for me, and who snuggle up with me and give me hugs and kisses when I do not feel well...
• A mother and father-in-law who lift me up to the throne of God...
• A new doctor I am going to who desires to help me achieve wellness rather than just treat the symptoms...
• Being a stay-at-home mom - I can not imagine having to get up and go to work feeling the way I have felt some mornings...
• The Word of God... His Word is healing to our bones; His Word gives strength and comfort...
• The privilege of prayer... many nights when I have been awakened with pain I just lay there and pray...
• Friends who pray for me and call me to check on me...
• Hope that one day I will feel well enough to run again for His glory...
• His grace, which is sufficient for my every need...

So I am giving thanks and looking forward to once again living life abundantly as He continues His work of redemption in me...

Friday Fotos!

Thankful Thursday

This week I am so very thankful for some encouragement straight from my Lord.  As I have mentioned in earlier posts, I am attending a weekly Bible study with Bible Study Fellowship where we have been working our way through the book of John.  I have learned so much through this study, and I have been tremendously encouraged and strengthened in my walk with the Lord.

God so preciously spoke directly to my heart through the words of our lecturer this past Tuesday.  I have a couple of very tough situations in my life (one much tougher than the other, but both tough), which have required me to share the absolute Truth of God's Word and then to take a firm stand on and for that Truth.  It has been and still is HARD and HEART WRENCHING at times.  I have experienced persecution from those I love and from those whom I thought were friends and who knew my heart.  I have experienced broken relationships and loss of fellowship with some; and I have experienced rejection... all because I have taken a stand for my Jesus and for the Truth that He came to reveal to us through Himself, the Living Word.

Oftentimes I begin to doubt myself and wonder if I have heard God correctly in how He would have me to respond in these situations, and EVERY TIME my Lord so graciously speaks to me through His Word and through sermons or something I am reading to confirm to me that I am doing His will and responding in the way He has and is leading me.

So with all that in mind, the following principle from our lecture greatly encouraged me, as we were discussing Judas and his betrayal of Jesus and Jesus' trial before Annas in John 18...

Principle:  "Those intent on going their own way are not interested in the truth."

How do we respond to those who go their own way and are not interested in the truth?
1.  Accept that I can not change them...
2.  Pray for them...
3.  Continue to stand for the truth - no matter what they say or do...
It is not loving to give in to what is wrong or to be silent.  Jesus was never unloving but He stood for what was true and what was right. 

Where do I stand with Jesus - do I stand with Him or do I stand with His enemies as Judas did?

So what about you?  Are you standing WITH Jesus for the Truth or are you standing with His enemies?  May this encourage someone as greatly as it has encouraged me to keep standing for the Truth!

True Woman 2010 in Chattanooga, TN

I just wanted to share this video from the True Woman Conference I attended this weekend... what a wonderful, refreshing, and encouraging weekend it was!  The Presence of God was powerfully felt and the Peace of Christ permeated the entire weekend.  How I thank and praise my Lord for sending me there...

True Woman 2010 Chattanooga Slideshow - Truly Yours More than 2,500 women gathered in Chattanooga, TN this weekend for the True Woman 10 Conference. These images capture the excitement, emotion, connection and victory that these women experienced throughout the conference. These are the faces of the True Woman movement who are committed to living out God's Truth in their own homes and communities. Steve and Vikki Cook wrote this song especially for the True Woman Conference titled "Truly Yours."

Thankful Thursday

I am so thankful and excited that the Lord has provided me with a way to go to the True Woman Conference in Chattanooga for the next few days!

I received a FREE ticket to this conference approximately 2 weeks ago!  I was still able to find a room at the group rate within walking distance to the convention center, and my pastor's wife was also able to get a FREE ticket... so we are going to soak in His Presence!  We are looking forward to hearing from some great speakers and being refreshed and encouraged in this walk of faith we are on!

I am so very thankful for my husband, who is going to work from home and home school the boys while I am gone!   Say a prayer for him if you think about it!

I am thankful for the Lord and His gracious provisions... what are you thankful for today?

Quotes and thoughts from my reading...

I am currently reading The Grand Weaver, How God Shapes Us Through the Events of Our Lives, by Ravi Zacharias.

Today I read the chapter, "Your Calling Matters"...  and thought I would share with whoever still stops by to visit some thoughts that I found encouraging, motivating, and inspiring.

A calling is simply God's shaping of your burden and beckoning you to your service to him in the place and pursuit of his choosing. 


When your will becomes aligned with God's will, his calling upon you has found its home.


It is God's vital purpose in positioning you in life and giving you the vocation and context of your call to serve him with total commitment to do the job well. 


This is what we are seeking - a life and a calling that do not get corrupted along the journey, that cannot be defiled by earthly distractions, and that will not grow dim or dull with time.  

He then shares with his readers 3 ways we can know our calling and recognize its impact...

1.  Have a devout prayer life.  One simply can not know one's call without coming near to God in prayer.
The purpose of prayer and of God's call in your life is not to make you number one in the world's eyes, but to make Him number one in your life.


2.  Be willing to be outshone while shining for God.  Humility is the touchstone of serving God.
Someone who stands under the bright lights of history will never, in God's eyes, outshine the humble attractiveness of the one who humbly serves God.


3.  Make certain that you stay close to those who walk closely with God. 


Know that you are God's temple.  Bathe your life in prayer.  Live out your life in humility of spirit that serves for the right reasons.  Seek the counsel and example of godly men and women.   Finally, exhibit a commitment  to the preeminence of Christ in all things.  These are the components of a call.

May we all recognize, know, and fulfill His calling upon our lives with total commitment...

Wordless Wednesday... We Had SNOW!!!

Running the Race...

This past Sunday, on Valentine's Day, I ran my 1st half marathon!  I ran in celebration of the freedom that Christ Jesus has brought into my life... freedom that can only come from Him!  My running verse is:

"I run in the path of Your commands,

for You have set my heart free!"

Psalm 119:32

I run because Jesus has set me free...

I run because my body is the temple of His Holy Spirit and I desire for it to be a fit place for His Presence... 

I run to keep in shape, so I can do the things He calls me to do...

I run to clear my mind and for stress relief...

I run to spend time with my Savior... the time I spend running is devoted to talking to my Lord and listening for His voice...

Throughout my training my Lord has taught me many lessons.  This has been a spiritual journey just as much as it has been a physical journey.  I wanted to share just a few of the things He has taught me...

No one can do the training for me.  If I want to run the race I have to do the training... it is a choice.  Just as no one can seek His face for me... If I want to know my Lord more intimately, if I want a closer walk with Him, I have to make the time to spend in His Word and in prayer.  I have to choose Him over other things, even other good things...   And just as the strength and endurance come from the training, so does the deeper walk and closer intimacy with Him come from spending the time in His Word and in prayer.


Even if no one is there to cheer me on, I can still run the race.  Approximately 2 weeks before the race my husband found out he was going to have to go out of town for work.  Now, he almost never travels for work.  In the past 12 years he has worked at his job he has had to go out of town maybe 2 times.  Needless to say, I was very, very disappointed... I really wanted him and the boys at the finish line.  I wanted them to cheer me on...   He even tried to get some people to be at the finish line, but couldn't...  However, God had a lesson for me!  He taught me that even if no one is cheering me on here on this earth, my Father in Heaven is cheering for me in the spiritual realm.  I was running for Him and He wanted my eyes on Him, not on whoever might be there cheering for me...  And there are things He calls me to do daily that no one cheers me on in.  I am not to let that discourage me, I am to keep my eyes on Him, and He will, through His Spirit, graciously encourage me to keep going...

Endurance is the key, for the physical race and the spiritual race.

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, 

let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, 

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, 

who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, 

despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself,

so that you may not grow weary and lose heart."  

Hebrews 12:1-3

My Lord taught me that just as I need physical endurance to make it across that finish line, I need spiritual endurance to make it in this spiritual journey I am on.  I am to consider Jesus, who endured in the face of hostility and rejection,  who endured for the joy that was to come, who kept His eyes on His Father in Heaven, and who stayed focused on the goal, which was redeeming us from our sins.  So during my training and on race day, when I felt weary or tired, when my muscles felt tight and I wondered if I would make, I turned my focus away from myself and toward my Lord.  I would begin to praise Him for the freedom He has given me, for the many gifts, spiritual and physical, He has blessed me with, and for the countless ways He has shown me His love (after all, the race was on Valentine's Day, how could I not think of His amazing love!).  And do you know what happened in those times?  Those were the absolute best times of my running... He empowered me with physical and spiritual strength to continue on, and not to just continue on wearily, but to continue on victoriously in His power and strength!

And by His strength and His power I continued on, straight to that finish line!  And what a joyous feeling that was!!  How I praise Him and thank Him for loving me and setting me free, and for giving me feet to run for Him!

And for those who are curious... I ran the 13.1 miles in 2 hours, 10 minutes, and 51 seconds!  To God be all the glory!!

He gently leads...

See, the Soveriegn LORD comes with power,
and his arm rules for him.
See, His reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.

He tends his flock like a shepherd;
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
Isaiah 40:10-11

I read this this morning during my morning devotion time... the Lord spoke to me and encouraged me through these verses. How wonderful that:

• He gathers me in His arms,
• He carries me close to His heart,
• He gently leads me since I have young ones.

I was really encouraged by the fact that He gently leads me... He does not get irritated with me and lead me out of frustration, as I admit I sometimes do with my children... He gently leads me. He leads me with a heart filled with peace and love... I pray that today I would be able to gently lead my children, out of a heart filled with my Lord's peace and love, and not out of the frustration that sometimes comes with homeschooling two six year olds.

Thankful Thursday

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
to which indeed you were called in one body;
and be thankful."
Colossians 3:15

Today I am giving thanks for:

• Our fenced in back yard! I am thankful for the moments, and sometimes hours, of peace I can get while the boys play out back!
• For morning snuggles with my boys, which I most likely would not have time for if we were not homeschooling...
• Our new mattresses which are being delivered today!! And very thankful for how God provided the finances for us to buy them! We will all be eager to go to bed tonight!
• A good haircut! My favorite hair stylist moved months ago and I have had great trouble finding someone else I like... I may have found her now!
• The privilege of hearing my children pray for others... their prayers are so simple yet heartfelt, they are just precious...
• Jesus showing us the "full extent of His love" as described in John chapter 13...
• Leftovers! I will not have to cook dinner for 2 nights in a row since we have some yummy leftovers in the frig! And I am thankful I have a husband who does not mind eating leftovers!
• The fact that our Lord's mercies are new every morning...
• For friends, old and new...
• For this life that the Lord has blessed me with... I truly love where He has me and what He has called me to do and be...

What are you thankful for today? I encourage you to take some time to think about it and give Him all the thanks and the glory that He deserves... you will be blessed by doing so!

For more TT posts visit here...

Wordless Wednesday

Highlights from Paul & David's Party!

Happy Birthday to my Double Blessings!

Happy Birthday
to
Paul & David!!!

For breakfast we had chocolate chip muffins
with candles!

Paul blew his out quickly...
It took David a bit more time...

2 very excited little boys!!

One of their gifts was real big boy tools...
so they can help daddy with all his many projects!

Thankful Thursday

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
to which indeed you were called in one body;
and be thankful."
Colossians 3:15

Today I am thankful for:

• The peacefulness that comes with homeschooling... yes, I said peacefulness! Our mornings are usually very peaceful, as we do not have to get up and rush to get ready to get out the door. The boys get to play for a bit before we start our day, and we all get to eat breakfast together before my husband goes to work...
• The warmer weather we have had this week! It has been wonderful to get outside and enjoy the sunshine!
• Answered prayers... how thankful I am that my Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers, big and small!
• A new homeschool group I have connected with! We have several fun field trips planned that we are all excited about... Blue Bell tour, tour of all the departments at a local Publix, Bud's Best Cookies factory tour, a day at the American Village...
• A new like-minded friend, in the same stage and season of life as me!! This is a huge, huge answer to prayer that I have been praying for years... my new friend loves Jesus, studies the Word diligently, and home schools her oldest of 3 boys, who are close to my boys ages. What a blessing her friendship and the friendship among our boys is!
• My health...
• Strawberries being reasonably priced again!
• New recipes tried that turned out yummy!
• My husband, his love for me and our boys, and for how well he provides for us and takes care os us!
• My double blessings, Paul & David, who will turn 6 years old tomorrow!

What are you thankful for? I encourage you to take some time to look over your week and give Him thanks for all the many things, big and small, that you have to be thankful for! For more TT posts visit here...