Lessons from a journey in the deep valley...

Life is a journey... sometimes an enjoyable, joy-filled one...

and sometimes one which takes you into what seems like the lowest valley you have ever experienced...

That is where I have been since the beginning of June, in a deep, dark valley.  As I mentioned a couple of posts back, I have been dealing with some health issues and significant physical pain, unlike I have ever experienced before.  It has been HARD and often times UNBEARABLE... but Jesus has carried me through.  He is still carrying me through... I am in the palm of His hand, and there is no other place I would rather be.  I seem to be making a bit of progress, but the extent of that progress has yet to be determined, it is a wait and see what happens next kind of thing... there may be some big decisions to have to make in the next few weeks, so prayers are appreciated for my overall condition and for any decisions we have to make regarding my health...


But in this deep, dark valley I have learned a few things...

I have learned that I truly am loved by my family... My husband has so willingly and without complaint taken over things that I just have not been physically able to do at times.  He has remembered how to cook after almost 10 years of not having to!  He takes the boys for all day outings so I can have a mental break from it all, he gets up with me in the middle of the night when my pain prevents me from sleeping, he goes to doctor's appointments with me even though it means he will have to work late and get home late, he holds me when all I can do is cry, and he prays with and for me...  He is a HUGE blessing in my life and I am so glad he is in this marriage with me for the long haul... for "better" and for  "worse", for this summer has definitely been one of those for the "worse" times.

I have learned that my children love me dearly and have such sweet, sensitive and caring hearts.  How precious when David holds my hand in the van all the way to the doctor because I am crying in pain... how precious when Paul lays down with me and rubs my back to try to make me feel better.  What a blessing that they do not get upset when I do not feel like taking them to do fun things... they just say, "Ok, maybe you will feel better tomorrow Mommy."   It breaks my heart that they often ask me, "Mommy, are you hurting today?  Is your pain better?"  I hate that this has to be a part of their life and that they have to see me hurting and in tears over my pain at times, but what a blessing that they have learned to be sensitive and caring to others who are sick and hurting.

I have also learned that you never truly know how someone is feeling inside, how much they can be hurting physically and/or emotionally.  Yes, you can see a bit in their eyes, but you can never really see into someone else's heart and know how much she is suffering... and I have learned that those who are suffering just want to know that someone cares, that someone is willing to listen, that they are not all alone.  For I have often felt so very alone, even in the midst of a room full of people who supposedly care for you, many who know what you are going through.  When you are longing for a hug and words of concern and hope and none come your way it is a very lonely place... Yet time and time again I have been reminded that God knows my heart, He is concerned with me and with what is going on in my life.  I know and am so thankful that my Lord is with me and that He will never forsake me...

So when I do finally get out of this valley, and even now while I am still in it, I am asking God to open my eyes to those around me who are hurting, who need words of encouragement, who need a phone call rather than an email, who need some actual physical help... and I am asking Him to help me to graciously and selflessly respond to those He opens my eyes to in a way that would magnify Him and bring Him honor and glory.