My Lord has been speaking to me through this verse for about a week now. It all started last week when I saw a gorgeous picture put to this verse for a WFW post. It seemed as if my Lord spoke to me so gently and said, “Is your gentleness being seen by all, but more importantly is it being seen by your children and your husband?”
Ouch! My God was asking me if those that see the real me inside my house are seeing my gentleness. My honest answer was “Not all the time Lord, and lately not much at all.” It is not that I have not wanted to be gentle, but I have had a huge struggle with letting the gentleness out and keeping the frustration and irritation away. It is like Paul says in Romans (I think), I do what I do not want to do, and that which I want to do I do not do (my paraphrase).
So I have struggled the past couple of weeks with wanting to be gentle with my family (during those times where it is soooo hard to be gentle) rather than reacting out of frustration and irritation. I do have 2 4-year olds! And they definitely are testing their mommy right now and trying to help God develop some character in me, with all the disobedience, backtalk, and disrespect!! However, God would not have given them to me to raise if He had not planned on equipping me to be a Godly mother.
God convicted me that I was trying to do it all myself. I was trying to be supermom and superwife out of my own power. I do not think I was consciously saying “I can do all this myself.” I just wasn’t taking the time to stop when the difficult times would arise during my day and call on Him for help then and there. I was having my quiet time in the mornings very faithfully and consistently, but then I was forgetting to call on Him in my times of need throughout the day. So for the past couple of days I have made a conscious effort to call on Him when the difficulties arise, when one or both of my children have a fit, when they respond to me disrespectfully or with a bad attitude. I have asked Him to fill me to overflowing with His precious Holy Spirit, for wisdom in knowing how to deal with the situation, for a gentle and quiet spirit, and for understanding of my children (why are they acting this way). And God has answered! As He always does if we acknowledge Him and call upon Him! God has given me a gentle and quiet spirit with my children, wisdom in knowing how to deal with them, and He has given me peace instead of strife and frustration.
And just today while I was doing the dishes and thinking about all of this, it is as if my Lord spoke to me ever so gently again and said, “If you will just find your contentment in Me and not in how well your children behave or act, then you will have peace and will have a gentle and quiet spirit, and your gentleness, which is a fruit of my Holy Spirit in you, will be evident to all.”
Isn’t our God just awesome? Have you heard Him speak to you lately? Are you listening?
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